DID YOUR GRANDMA EVER EAT PLANKTON?

LMBO...... I'm still laughing from the question Konrad asked Jenn tonight, "did your grandma ever eat plankton?".

I think he was just curious to know the answer but I think I'm going to add that to my "yo mamma" joke repertoire. I'm wondering how he even knows what plankton is. He's a clever boy. He can correctly pronounce most words that he attempts to read already. I keep waiting for his teacher to tell us he's brilliant but it never happens. I guess I'm just a proud parent who thinks they have gifted children like every other parent out there.

Speaking of reading, I've been getting into it lately. I've never really taken the time to read. I know that I fit the stereotype of a non-reader but I never really felt exclusively jock. I've always enjoyed reading articles and non fiction biographies. However, I picked up a few novels for our trip to Morocco and I've been going ever since.

I started with " the Alchemist" It helped pass the time on the flight to England but I felt it was a little elementary. I was intregued by the use of Melchizedek and the Urim and Thumim but over all I thought it he wasn't a very captivating writer.

Next I read "Under a thousand Splendid Suns" and " The Kite Runner" by Kaled Hosseini. They were both wonderful books. They fed my hunger for learning about unfamiliar settings (Afghanistan) and were culturally insightful. The stories invoke a full range of emotions aswell.

Then I read "Blood River". I thought it was incredible to learn of the untold Congo. I was captivated to the point I thought I was watching a movie. I can remember flipping through the channels one night unsatisfied because I couldn't find the channel that would continue my story. Then I realized it was my book I was craving and I shut the tv off to go read.



Most recently, I picked a book up off the shelf called " Kipewa River Chronicles". This one was written by a good friend from Utah who has a lodge in Quebec. Wow what a good read. It was as good as any of the other books I've mentioned. He is a decent writer and his stories are out of this world. A few years ago Jenn and I and Derek and Rachelle went up to the lodge for some r and r and Derek started into this book. He read it in 2 days and I though he was missing out on what the area had to offer with his nose buried in that book. Last week when I saw the book on the shelf I felt a little disrespectful for taking a gift copy 5 years ago and having still not read it. So I read it and I am glad I did.

Hey Derek do you remember the whistler of the north? and the Dog chasing the dynamite? Anyway, I emailed him to thank him for the book and he told me he has another one on the way.

I guess what is left to see is whether I stick with this reading kick or whether I get board of it and let it fizzle out after a while like everything else I seem to half finish (this blog included). For now I'm averaging a book a week. Thats not bad for someone who........how did Jenn put it?........"married someone smarter than himself". Ouch! It sounds brash and perhaps it should have hurt more when I heard it but I guess there is some substance to it and I am consoled by the fact that I also married someone self confident. And I do love her!

RELEASED!

Ya D....Its done! I feel like I've been set out to pasture. I'm too young to be set out to pasture, I'm still a stallion.


I am already thinking about how I will re-arrange my week. Spencer Collins has been called as the new young mens president. Inspired! I'm envious of the program now. I wish he were in it while I was there. He is so interesting. The boys are going to love him.

Follow ups/ updates/ horn toots

I was reading a blog that referred me to www.freerice.com so I went and looked. It is a word meaning game that feeds people through the UN. Every word definition you get right donates 20 grains of rice to those who need it. But I gotta admit it is kind of addicting. Especially when your vocabulary level is rated. My highest level is 40.

Here is a picture of how my magnum P.I hair is coming. Yesterday I found myself whistling the theme song while painting. Jenn brought it to my attention.



I am now selling a new product line in addition to my current arsenal. They include but are not limited to, roof tars, patches and sealants, driveway tars, patches and sealants, and wall paper remover and glues as well as spackles and stuccos. I recieved a good size existing client base to start which is a nice help.

My sis Erin called my claims of finding deals to the challenge. She said that the cheapest flight she could find to Salt Lake during her dates was $350 return and I found her one for $220.

I got another roof job.

I started chopping up the bathroom only to find that there will be more chopping and patching than I had imagined.

We are getting excited for our trip.

Death, Taxes and left side throat burps

Last night at midnight the calendar year crept 1 year closer to my imminant death. I only thought of this because I was deathly ill yesterday and completely missed out on the celebrations. I had a fever, and a wrenching gut among other things for the entire day and night. Here is a picture of me around 10:00pm.




I woke up at around 12:20 swimming in my bed from sweat (yuck) and thought about how my 2006 taxes are now a full year overdue. It just so happens that I had planned to finish them off yesterday before I became ill.

I took a swig of gatorade to try and get some liquids back into me and then I layed down on my left side to go back to sleep. Then.....the craziest thing happened. Its not so crazy to me anymore but it will be to anyone who reads this I'm sure. I had some air in my stomach that kept trying to come up but couldnt' come out. This resulted in a burbing noise in my chest and throat every 5 seconds. This happens to me if I 'm sick or not. If I drink or eat something and lay down on my left side it will invariably happen. It never happens when I lay on my right side but If I flip over it will. It is creepy. I was tossed between being comfortable staying and waking Jenn up from my left side chest burbs or turning over and letting her sleep where I had been for hours. Since she didn't seem to say anything she must have been in a deep enough sleep, I stayed put.

I thought this phenomenon might have something to do with the left lung being smaller than the right lung and maybe it compresses more than the right to trap air in but I think burps come from your stomach. Besides, I hadn't heard of anyone else having this problem.

Getting tired of the buzz cut

I think this will be my next hair style. I've printed it off and will bring it to the barber for a consultation on what I need to do. I've always idolized Magnum P. I. (not Tom Selleck but the character) I bought the Detroit Tigers hat about 5 years ago and I like it. I think this is the next logical step. With any heavenly love I'll one day drive a Ferrari:)

Maybe I'm drawn to Magnum because my father always had an identical moustach. He still does. Perhaps it is because of my dad and my good childhood memories that that moustach brings me to a comfort zone.

Bowling thrills and naked table marathons

Its so wonderful to have young kids. In particular, I'm thinking of how fun it is to have them experience new things. Fun, and easy to give them new experiences as there are still many uncharted waters for them.

Take Friday for example. We took them bowling and they loved it. I don't think they stopped smiling from the time they heard the rolling balls when we entered the building, right up to the time they decided they were too tired for life and began crying and whining about different things they felt they needed (gumballs, milk, chocolate milk, etc). In those moments I wonder- did they already forget that we were having a good time?

So, back to bowling. Konrad and Anders were so excited that when one of them bowled a ball the other one stood behind him and danced until the ball reached the other end. Yes there was dance bowling and there was hurtle bowling. The hurtle bowling was done by the women next to us. She seemed very good at it. If you don't know what hurtle bowling is it is very similar to bowling but you have to jump over a Konrad or an Anders that is lying or rolling in your runway.

At first both boys used the "ramp" which is a metal ramp contraption designed to keep your ball on a constant trajectory. It is much harder than real bowling and the boys decided they were up for the challenge. Half way through the game, just when Konrad was about to take the lead he decided not to use the ramp and he bowled the rest of the game with a between-the-leg swinging technique. I think he was giving us a chance since they all went in the gutter from that point on. Further evidence to this is when for the last 2 frames both he and Anders walked over to the gutter and rolled the ball down it.

I said "what are you doing? thats not how you rise to the top! Thats not how you win a game? Wheres the killer in you? You aren't even trying. Bowl better next time or we will never bring you here again!" (just kidding) But I wanted to!

I however, was not about to give the game up. I was determined to run the score up on Jennifer. Show her who is boss when we are at the bowling alley. One needs more than determination to take down a shark. She bowled 4 strikes, 2 of them on her last 3 balls and clutch bowled me right outta town. Man shes good.

How am I supposed to tell my kids I was really good at their games and sports when I was their age and have them believe me if I cant even impress them now? I never used to believe my parents when they would brag of the talents and abilities of their youth. Perhaps I believed them a little, noting that competition was weaker then. Am I becoming one of those who's abilities are discounted by the next generation? In bowling?.....it appears so.

Last night Jennifer made some meatloaf. Mmmmnn, I love meatloaf almost as much as Konrad loves meatloaf. In fact I was about to express my love for meatloaf in a sort of a unique way when, Konrad preempted me. He jumped up from the table wearing nothing but underwear and proceeded to run 216 laps around the table. Now I would have done a few more than that but I was still very impressed by his efforts.

Yes he ran naked around the table for about 20 minutes. 18 strides per lap (give or take a step if he was bumped by Anders or stumbled from dizzyness) I think it was a couple kilometers by my estimates. I wondered where this was going after he surpassed 20 laps without stopping. I think he just kept getting to such a high number that he thought it would be a shame to stop running. I counted. He ran. We all laughed at his wide eyes and his tongue that was sticking out touching his right cheek while he ran.

Thrift in our youth?

I've noticed that it is mostly a guys thing to brag about great deals on purchases. Thats not to say that women don't do. I guess I'm generalizing.

There is no lack of boasting of our recent deals among Jakob men. However, I have noticed that my father is getting soft on coin pinching. I think he is trading his haggling efforts for ease of purchase (less searching and traveling for deals). At first I couldn't understand it but I think it is almost a natural transition that comes with age. Older men don't want to put the work into dealing (generalizing again).

I've found myself getting lazy sometimes and taking a lesser deal out of convenience, but I still have enough youth in me to fight the fight.

Another realization........Good consumers make good salesman. Understanding the ins and outs of distribution and supply and demand and how to work it to your favour. The opposite is also true. A good salesman makes a good consumer.

I'm not a great salesman but I do think the position has helped me find deals. Others tell me that I find good deals. That makes me feel......well.......manly. (by the way, never tell a guy he didn't get a good deal unless it is something that he will buy frequently and you can save him money with the advice. It'll unneccessarily break his heart and it is too late to help) .....I digress....

Maybe people tell me I find good deals because I just brag about them all the time and people have to say something.

Anyhow, shopping shark or not two heads are better than one. Therefore, here is my proposition:

Anyone who would like a second opinion before making a purchase is welcome to email me with details on the product you want general or specific, with features, and the best price you have been able to find so far. I would like the challenge of trying to save you more money. If I am unable to find a better deal then I will start emailing you before I make purchases if you are that good. As I said two heads are better than one.

If this works well maybe one day we can start an online business where we split the difference.